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make me real...
name?
Empress Kyra V.
age?
19
birthday?
april 3rd
location?
pennsylvania
website?
the fortress
devART?
my deviantART
I'd share with you...
wallpaper?
summer collage
game?
disgaea
projects(s)?
burning cds, drawing, working on various webpages, whole stack of anime to
watch
book?
Hannibal
songs?
my immortal - evanescence
same old lang syne - dan fogelberg
headstrong - trapt
I hate everything about you - three days grace
greener with the scenery - the used
I cannot leave here...
blogs?
the silver lining
desert palace
the secret lair
shy pudding
the official FTOTITHSOI
web comics?
Mac Hall
MegaTokyo
Penny Arcade
Real Life
Sluggy Freelance
RPG World
Strings of Fate
PVP
Angel Moxie
other?
CNN
cockeyed.com
deviantART
Fantasy Art of Elfwood
Homestar Runner
Horoscopes
Internet Bumper Stickers
PITAS.COM
Neopets
Something Awful
cliques?
mine :: sephiroth's coat
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academy awards
Rotk nominations - 11. awards won - 11. w00t.
finally, some recognition. ::dances::
...just these stark words at 12:35 a.m. on Monday, March 1, 2004.
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::cues creepy music::
my computer just randomly restarted. and when it did, the computer in the living room started up too...
...just these stark words at 03:27 p.m. on Thursday, February 26, 2004.
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times like these
we went to denny's last night. I knew all my whining would pay off eventually. boy were we in rare form. I will say again, I do not know how we have possibly gone this long without being kicked out of someplace. the creamings were the best, without a doubt.
I saw a UFO, or so I thought, but my dad tells me it was most likely just a meteor or something of that sort. and he is the authority on this kind of thing, so I'll take his word for it. none the less, I slept with my light on last night.
bobby and I almost hit a deer on the way to denny's. but he did some world-class swerving and stopping and we all escaped without injury. the last remaining button came off my purse, but I found it and re-attached it. I don't want to know what will happen when I run out of buttons. perhaps I should buy some more...
I love FFCC so much. funny how close the letters FFCC and FLCL are. coincidence? I think not.
...just these stark words at 09:48 p.m. on Monday, February 23, 2004.
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I don't feel like thinking up a name
oi, FFCC is going to eat my life. we just played a single level for 2.5 hours only to have it shut off on us before we could defeat the boss. and all this time I was supposed to be writing papers.
the papers are done now, I spent a total of about 20 minutes on them. good quality no doubt. I don't really remember. doesn't matter anyway, I'll prolly fail this class. yes, fail career developement. if that's not the saddest thing in the world I don't know what is. I mean come on, all I had to do was write cover letters and show up. and it seems I could do neither. I blame The Void, as they seem to call it. dman them all.
...just these stark words at 03:22 a.m. on Tuesday, February 17, 2004.
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disco monster terrorist
if there's one good thing about it being so cold for so long, it's that we
now find everything warm in comparison. we're like "woo hoo, it's 38
degrees! time to break out the shorts!". but then again, who's to say
that's a good thing...
I watched the grammys the other night. cuz, ya know, I like to keep up with
what's going on in the music industry or something. but near the end they
had a little speech on music pirating. of course there's a cute little
website @ whatsthedownload.com which of course tries to tell you all the
horrible ways music downloading hurts your favorite artists. they say that
people think that all musicians are multi-millionares, but that this is not
the case. that's all very well and good, but how about not trying to tell
us this while a ton of rap stars parade around in the audience wearing
jewelry that could feed a small country for about five years. it kinda
defeats the purpose. I think, for the most part, that musicians get paid
too much anyway. just like professional athletes. and the ones who
do deserve the money - the ones who write and play their own music -
don't get it anyway. and ya know, if I find a little-known artist whose
music is just amazing, I'd buy the CD anyway... if they were more
reasonably priced. with tax, you pay about $20 for a CD. craziness! I'd
pay $7.50 for a CD. I might even pay $10.00, but that's as high as I'm
going. and the sites that now have music to download for $.99 per song?
still too much. I like to make my own mixes, and I usually put about 20
songs on a CD. So I'm right back up to $20 again. no! these same sites
mostly have full albums for $9.99, which I can live with. just make it $.50
per song. is that too much to ask? do that, and I wouldn't have a problem
paying for my music. you've got to remember, I'm even more broke than all
those poor musicians...
I went to a cat show on sunday. that was cool. (<-- not sarcasm) there
were tons of cats. and all so cute! but luckily no angoras, which is what
virgo was. I only cried once, which I think is a pretty big accomplishment.
and I managed to not donate the entire contents of my wallet,
another impressive accomplishment.
we watched FLCL monday night after wings. I'd seen the last episode on
cartoon network a few times over the summer, and was so confused. little
did I know it was one of the only episodes that made any sense at
all. don't get me wrong, it's now on my list of Best Anime Ever, but
oi. I get most of it, I think, especially now after reading a bunch of
essays on it throughout the internet, but I'd still like to see it a few
times. preferably without eye-searing subtitles, but I won't be picky. but
yeah, I really liked it. there's a disturbing lack of good fansites (or any
good fansites at all for that matter), and someone should really get on
that. I want fanfiction, darn it.
on a mostly unrelated topic, it seems yahoo geocities has deleted my
website. those bastards! it's a good thing I was thinking about being in
the processes of redoing my site. this, I guess, could be seen as
motivation I suppose. cuz I need a website to display the rest of my crap
that's not up on my devART.
so I guess I should get started on that, eventually...
oh and sere? I am still thinking about how to answer your question on shy pudding.
...just these stark words at 10:51 a.m. on Wednesday, February 11, 2004.
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mmm...
mcdonald's has cinnamon rolls. I did not know this. they are soooooo good. I suggest everyone go out and buy one right now. they taste like real cinnamon, not that fake cinnamon taste. and they're filled with a liquidy cinnamon center. all warm and gooey.
I got mail yesterday (actual mail, not the internet kind) that said "urgent, open immediately!". so obviously I started freaking out, wondering what was wrong. would you believe it was an advertisement of sorts? they got me all scared to tell me that I might be able to be pre-approved for an auto loan. which would be all very well and good if I could drive. oi. the nerve of some people.
...just these stark words at 10:57 a.m. on Wednesday, February 4, 2004.
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::scratches nose::
you ever notice how your nose only itches after you put on your rubber gloves and start washing dishes? doesn't it just tick you off?
...just these stark words at 08:20 p.m. on Monday, February 2, 2004.
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mmm, cadbury creme egg
oi, sorry it's been a little while. I have actually had plenty to go on about, I've just been unable to stay conscious for more than five minutes. well okay, I'm exaggerating a little. but not much. I mean really, the other night I fell asleep on the sofa around 6, slept thru dinner, got up around 1, went into my room and went back to sleep until 7. that's more than 12 hours of sleep. and the next day? it was a fight to keep my eyes open. so I haven't been being anti-social by having away messages up, I've just been asleep. I think my computer emits carbon monoxide. it's the only explanation.
but enough about my sleep habits. as you may know, my two current classes at school are career development and automated accounting. the career development is actually going alot better than I had expected, but the automated accounting is another story all together. in all the experience I've had with automated accounting, I've found that trying to teach classes on it is just impossible. never in any automated accounting class that I have been in has the class actually been able to stay together. I don’t' know why this is, I just make the observations. but that's not really what this post is about. this post is about the woman who sits two seats down from me.
on the first day of class, there was someone sitting between us. I don't know where that person has gotten to, but he/she is no longer between us so there is now an empty seat. this makes me very happy as I a) like my personal space and b) now have a place to set my book. our work area at the computers is very cramped, there is nowhere to prop your book on the desk so I have to be looking down at my lap all the time. I hate to be continually looking down at my lap, it hurts my neck. so now, I thought, I could put my book on the chair and say good bye to neck pain. this thought was destroyed by the woman two seats down.
see, she kept getting this error on her computer. I don't remember what the error was, but I do remember it was something that could easily be fixed by simply restarting. but I kept my mouth shut. after all, they are not paying me to teach the class or offer tech support. the teacher decided she'd better move to a new computer so of course she moved to the seat I had my books propped up on. she huffed loudly and pouted so that we could all see what a hassle it was for her to have to move that extra seat down. while she was moving, we opened the company we would be working on that day. so of course when she finally got her new computer started up, she was completely lost as to where we were.
the teacher slowly explained the complicated process of opening a company, but she still didn't seem to get it. this is when she crossed her arms and started whining. now anyone who knows me knows that I can whine with the best of them, but only to people I know. I don't just start having temper tantrums in the middle of class. and this woman is, like, 30 or so. so you can imagine how funny it was. at first. but it got very annoying very fast. especially when she realized I knew what I was doing. then every time she got lost she would ask me for help. I am not a very patient person when it comes to people being stupid. now I can understand having problems in a program you've never used before. but when you've got a book sitting next to you with step-by-step illustrated instructions, there is no excuse. open the book. stop bothering me and look it up yourself. I tried to give hints and be short with her, but she did not seem to notice. she didn't even take note of my obvious eye-rolling. so finally I just ignored her, pretending to be so engrossed in my game of minesweeper that I couldn't hear her anymore.
I know that seems like an awful lot of typing for a simple story about an annoying classmate, but you have no idea how angry it made me. I mean really. that's what the book is for. if you follow the pictures, you barely even need an instructor. oi.
and on the topic of things that annoy me... my sister was supposed to go on a date with her "boyfriend" last night. I use the quotes because she met this guy once at a dance about a month ago and that was the only time she's actually seen him. I find it hard to call that dating. of course, that is a rant best saved for another day. so anyway, she and two of her friends were supposed to meet this "boyfriend" and two of his friends at the mall. they were supposed to do this before, all go to the mall together, but the boys couldn't find a ride and the get-together never happened. so I figured I'd call about an hour after they went to the mall to make sure the morons they were supposed to meet actually showed. I was not surprised to hear, then, that only one of them had come. and it was not my sister's "boyfriend".
the story is that the "boyfriend" sprained his ankle and thus could not make it. my sister told me on the phone that his friend (the one who showed) said he'd sprained it on thursday, however when I read the deadAIM logs from my sister's various upset IMs last night he said that it happened on friday. I am more than a little suspicious. they are supposed to try this again next week. I would just like to say that it is in the best interests of the "boyfriend" to show up this time. and he had better have had the worst sprained ankle this world has ever seen. because if not, I think it's time I break out the trusty tent pole and take a little trip to {hometown of "boyfriend"}.
I really gotta stop putting my threats into writing...
...just these stark words at 12:26 p.m. on Saturday, January 24, 2004.
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in response to Unit 2: Rock
after reading steve's blog entry about the accident last night, I felt the need to post a response. so here it is.
first of all, before people are all like "oh, how mean to make him drive all the way to shillington..." I wanted to call. but my cell phone had no reception and everyone else thought it would be funnier for him to make the trip and thus would not lend me their phones. what was I supposed to do, leap over the counter and commandeer the TH phone? and it crossed my mind also how bad we all would have felt had the accident occured while he was driving all the way to my house for no reason. but luckily it didn't happen that way.
and for your information, steve, my leg really did hurt for a while. and it hurts again today again. in fact, everything hurts, especially my neck and shoulders. I can barely move. just ask my family members who have been tryong very hard not to mock me shuffling around the house and struggling to put my shoes on. so there. {]: P but it's all good, I have a very large lump on my leg to show off. and that is always fun.
now that all that serious stuff is out of the way, it was pretty funny. the blog entry this is in response to and the accident. well, if you take away the property damage and stuff. and what does it say about everyone that our first reaction was to laugh? I don't know either.
but I can tell you what it says that mid-crash johnny threw his hands in the air and exclaimed "we're all gonna die". and what it says that I told my parents from now on whenever I'm in a car crash I'll only call them if I'm going to the hospital. it says we are in far too many car accidents. but hey, as long as I keep coming out of them un-disfigured I'm not really that concerned. if there's gonna be a car accident, I'd rather be there than be not there. or something like that.
it's good to hear he has an invisible back-up car, though, don't you think?
oh, and I'll be sure to add "craughing" to the dictionary list.
...just these stark words at 12:46 a.m. on Friday, January 16, 2004.
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and only 13 days late...
it's a little later than I had intended, but here is my assesment of the year 2003. I've been thinking about it for quite some time now. not so much thinking about the year, but moreso where it has brought me and taught me. but I'll get to that later.
first, lat's go thru the year as it was for me. it started out pretty crappy, as you may remember, with new year's eve 2002 - no offense to sere, she knows I was miserable. as I said then, it is a terrible thing to be surrounded by so many people who are your friends and aquaintances and yet feel so completely out of place. things pretty much stayed ungood, getting even worse briefly at the end of february. but then, when april rolled around, things began to improve. alot. I don't know how to explain it, life was just alot happier. when sere came home in may, it became evident that things were going to be completely different than ever before.
it was then that we began hanging out with the guys. I still cannot stress enough how completely and totally unexpected that was, and still is to some extent. I mean, if you would have told me just months before, I wouldn't have believed a word of it. and yet there it was. not only was it odd that I suddenly started hanging out with these people I'd gone to school with forever and hardly said a word to (for the most part), but it was and still is completely unlike me to become so close to so many people in such a short amount of time. it might not seem like much to most people, but it usually takes me years to get close enough to "hang out" with people. this summer was just... it went against everything I stand for. I still don't know how it happened. but I'm really glad it did. because I met some of the most amazing (though often retarded) people I've ever known. and no matter what ever happens, I am glad that I did.
and for all its going against everything I stand for, this summer was the best time of my life. even better than last year, or 1998 for that matter. some of the most amazingly perfect moments occured at the most unexpected times. it was all the simple little things that made it so good. I think the song "In This Diary" by the ataris really sums it up the best. if you haven't heard this song, I suggest you go find it right now. it makes me tear up every time I hear it. it's like it was written for this summer.
but as all good things, this summer had to end. and it did, on a rather miserable note. for me, at least. I was pretty done for a little while, butluckily I had many people actively making me leave the house and get back into the swing of things, to help me get over it. I am ever so thankful for that, cuz I can see how my little end-of-the-summer slump could have turned into the Lowest Point of My Life Ever. that point can still be credited to 1999-2000, which is good. it can stay there.
after that initial let-down, things went well again. not as well as the summer, mind you, but a whole lot better than I had ever expected. I really thought that after sere left the guys wouldn't want anything to do with me. that we were a package deal or something, not to mention that I cna't provide my own transportation. but this was not the case at all, and I was really truely suprised. that's jut further credit to the awesomeness of the guys I hang out with.
towards the end of november, though, I began to become discontent. this is not the fault of anything, I just get like this from time to time. but in spite of my miserableness and reluctance to leave the house, I've still been, forcibly at times, brought out of my house to socialize. so it's not nearly as bad as it's been in the past.
but yeah, all in all, things have gone alot better than I ever expected after the summer. and I've really learned alot about myself as this year has progressed. I mean, for once in my life I took a chance and behaved more like myself than what I thought other people wanted me to be. and look what happened. they actually wanted to keep me around. imagine that. in relation to that, I've learned that I'm a great deal more insecure than I ever would have thought. I've also realized I am apparently a logical thinker, I am a pretty poor excuse for a human being, and I have a tendancy to screw up every halfway decent thing in my life. the first two are more of a suprise to me than the others, that people might actaully want the (mostly) real kyra around and that I am a logical thinker. the other are not that much of a shock. oh, I'm a jealous and angry individual as well. but that's not much of a secret either.
on the subject of me screwing things up, there are a few things I am not happy about as this year comes, or came rather, to an end. all of those things are inter-personal. or, more specifically, friendships I have aided in the screwing up of. I'm not saying I was completely to blame, but I admit that it was a great deal my own fault. mostly it was because of my stubbornness. and anger, and jealousy, and insecurities. but who is suprised, really? this brings me to part of my new year's resolution. I am going to make an effort to fix these screw ups. the one I have already acted upon, it is no longer in my hands, but regardless of the outcome, at least I made an effort. and that's really all I can do.
so now it's 2004. the year I turn twenty. this is pretty much the cause of my discontent. I am going to be twenty yers old, and I have no direction in my life whatsoever. I don't know what I want to do when I get out of school, I have no steady job. for God's sake, I can't even drive. I've got nothing. so yeah, it's a little depressing. I expected to be so much further in life by now. but I'm not. which brings me to the secon part of my resolution. to fix this. or al least make an effort to do so. by this I mean that I will be open to opportunities that may present themselves to me. I'm not claiming I'll go out actively looking for new things, that's just not how I work. but I'm not going to be so close-minded about things.
I also resolve to be able to drive by the summer, and to make this blog less livejournal-y (as it seems to have gotten as of late).
I now want to take a paragraph and thank sere for just being sere. without her, I don't know where I'd be. not only does she listen to me rant when I'm sure she'd much rather tell me to shut up, but she's also been the cause for almost all the good that has happened this year. as I've heard her sing repeatedly "all you need is shan, shan, shan is all you need". and she's right. so thanks, sere. ::huggles::
so there you have it. where I stand as of today, January 13th, 2004 (though most of this was originally written on January 8th on notebook paper in "career developement" class. I'm just copying most of it from there). I can't even begin to imagine how things will be a year from now. I mean, look at how much has changed since last year on this date. hopefully it will be a good place to be, january 13th, 2005...
...just these stark words at 11:25 a.m. on Tuesday, January 13, 2004.
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everything must...
this is just a quick note before I go to bed. I juat wanted to say that I'm going away for new years and prolly won't be home til sunday. so my annual entry in which I give my review of the year will be a little late.
I'll most likely be online while I am gone, and/or you can feel free to give the cell phone a ring. so yeah. bye.
...just these stark words at 01:46 a.m. on Tuesday, December 30, 2003.
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Sickness usually of the head and chest
my sister sent me this and I thought it was rather entertainung. it's the (supposed) traits of people born during each month of hthe year.
JANUARY: Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Homely person. Loyal. Needs to improve social abilities. Easily jealous. Very Stubborn.
FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Showing anger easily. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Learns to show emotions.
MARCH: Attractive personality Affectionate Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful.... Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.
APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling. Friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivate oneself and the others. Sickness usually of the head and chest.
MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic
(left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirit. Spendthrift.
JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating. Tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.
JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional. Temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observation! s. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends.... Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and die! ting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to r! ecover.
AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defenses. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and rusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.
SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Trustworthy, loyal and honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Choosy especially in relationships. Loves wide things. Systematic.
OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves him. Loves to takes things at the center. Attractive and suave. Inner and physical beauty. Does not lie or pretend. Sympathetic. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel! the arts and literature. Soft-spoken, loving and caring. Romantic!!! Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift and easily influenced. Easily lose confidence. Loves children.
NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted-if there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciates praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.
DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor
funny, ne?
...just these stark words at 01:12 p.m. on Friday, December 26, 2003.
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$2 for a ringtone
it's Christmas Eve eve. how exciting. that wasn't sarcasm, I'm just not fond of exclaimation points.
sere has come and gone. it was good to have her back and it is sad she is no longer here.
RotK was awesome, but I really am no happy how they screwed with the ending. there's a few othere things that were not how I had imagined them, but that's okay. it was an awesome movie anyway. I think I would have enjoyed it more had I not read the books. then I wouldn't have had preconceived notions of how things should be. but in any case, I loved it. saw it twice. my elf costume was not ready in time, which is sad. I will finish it (or rather have my mum finish it) eventually.
I went to school yesterday for a meeting with that lady wh is in charge. my internet will be reinstated at the beginning of next block. w00t.
I finally got my Christmas shopping finished last night. I picked up the last few things for my mum and dad. I would have had my shopping long done already but... no, I'm not gonna go there. forget I said anything.
I got a new Christmas ringtone for my phone. as sacmaster steve pointed out, it is kinda silly to buy an insanely expensive Christmas ringtone on Christmas Eve eve, but meh. I am an impulse buyer at times.
this blog turned a year old last wednesday. oi, so much is different. but let's leave that for the new years entry, shall we?
I'm gonna try to update more, really I am.
...just these stark words at 03:39 p.m. on Tuesday, December 23, 2003.
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woo hoo!
sere comes home tomorrow! ::dances:: and I go to see the midnight showing of Return of the King in a few short hours. ::dances some more::
I was, and still am, planning to go in costume. unfortunately, being the ultimate procrastinator, my dress is still not finished. my mum, who is making it, is at a church group meeting and won't be home til around 9 or so. and we're meeting at the theatre at 10. will my dress be done in time? it's very iffy, which is sad. but even if it not done in time, I will be sure to take pictures when it is done and stick them up on devART.
my sister is dressing as a hobbit, but her outfit has been done since halloween. so that's nota problem at all.
ohhh, so excited. ::dances yet again::
...just these stark words at 08:14 p.m. on Tuesday, December 16, 2003.
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::is stunned::
I was gonna write an entry about the guys and I nearly dying in a hypothetical gun fight last night, but this seems slightly more important. I cannot believe they caught saddam hussein.
and I cannot believe this is not a bigger deal. I mean, a mass tragedy happens and it's all over the news for days. something like this happens and the only people who care are CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News. I mean, my parents informed me of what happened and continued to watch the football game and a lifetime movie. honestly. history is going on! those silly people. well I think it is a big deal. hence the blog entry. I'm still just going thru all the ways it could still not be him and they just faked the DNA somehow. like that movie we watched in english class senior year... I dunno what it was. but it was a good movie, I though.
anyway. history, yeah. wow.
...just these stark words at 01:49 p.m. on Sunday, December 14, 2003.
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when you've only got 100 years to live
yeah. hey. I haven't been online for a while again. sorry about that. I hope no-one is too terribly worried. I've just been in a mood again and thus been rather avoidant, since that is how I seem to get.
I am sick of everything and angry at nothing and just generally discontent. been thinking about life again and the utter pointlessness. work makes me think that more than anything. cuz most people in the world get up every day to go to a job they can't stand. for 40+ years. how ridiculous is that? so people say to you "well get a job doing something you like". even stuff I love doing I do not want to be doing 8 hours a day, 5 or six days a week. heck, 4 hours a day, 4 days a week would be pushing it. unless I can find someone to pay me for laying around in my pajamas and surfing the internet, occasionally watching animal planet. and I don't really see that happening.
which makes me wonder what it is exactly I am working towards. with school and work and all. so I'll get out of school and start a job I will grow to hate which will eat up my free time and make me even less happy. so then retirement? when I am too old to enjoy it anyway? yeah, no. see? I can't find a good side to it. at all. whee.
and I just got a call to go role playing, which I was really looking forward to, but the road conditions are terrible after all the snow we got yesterday. so my parents "prefer" I don't go out. which means if I do got out I will be sent on many guilt trips when I return. so I will stay home and worry about everyone who is out, just like I did last night. turn on my dad's police scanner and keep track of all the car accidents. because as avoidant as I have been being, I don't know what I would do if anything happened to my friends.
the only thing I've been going on lately is that at home I can retrogress without problems. I can act like a five year old and my parents, being the lovely enablers they are, will cater to this behavior. and this is good, because when you are five you don't generall concern yourself with things like how miserable your future is gonna turn out. at five, you really believe you will end up being a model/actress/palentologist who trains killer whales and dolphins in her spare time.
so there ya have it. no need to worry, I am fine. I do feel slightly better having written all that down. now I'm off to decorate the house for Christmas and then play a rousing game of dominoes with the famliy. maybe even make some more Christmas cookies like last night. and not think about things.
...just these stark words at 04:54 p.m. on Saturday, December 6, 2003.
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la la la
I am not at home, I am at sacmaster's house. there's a LAN party going on, but I am not participating. I didn't feel like dragging my computer out in the rain. I am IMing sere and my sister instead. I am tying up a perfectly good computer, but no-one seems to have a problem with that yet. which is good, cuz there's no cell service out here that would allow me to call sere, as was the original plan.
boy do I hate laptop keyboards
::sigh::
...just these stark words at 01:27 a.m. on Saturday, November 29, 2003.
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happy thanksgiving!
hope everyone had fun at wings without me last night. first time I've missed in a long time, but there were family things to be done. and as you may know, I am very big on tradition.
part of these family traditions was a ride thru the city to see places where stuff used to be when my dad was little. may sound kinda weird to most of you, but hey. I never said we were normal. I enjoy it. we also went past the house where we used to live, and the curtains were open. it looks alomost exactly the same as when we lived there, it was rather painful. someday I'll buy it and restore it to what it looked like when I lived there. it will be wonderful.
my sister and I also made fruit salad, as per tradition. though I think there could have been a better time to do it than midnight after I had drifted off to sleep on the sofa. cuz I can't hold things properly while awake, why give me a large sharp knife when I am half asleep? but I only accidentally stabbed my sister once, and only in the arm. so I'd say it was successful.
I was talking to sere already this morning, boy do I miss her. *sigh* ah well, I'll see here eventually. cuz I'm going up after Christmas if I have to hitch-hike thru the snow. and that is the end of that.
I would alos like to apologize for my absence from the internet so far this week. this time of the year is always quite busy for me, as my family has alot of odd traditions. not to mention that I've been actually going to bed at a normal time. plus I was ina mood for a while, but I think that's gone for now. hopefully it will stay that way, I suppose we shall see.
but anyway, I gotta go now. the family will be coming soon for thnaksgiving dinner, and I'm not even dressed yet (though that's not really very shocking).
happy holidays!
...just these stark words at 12:07 p.m. on Thursday, November 27, 2003.
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injustice!!
how dare they vote rupert off of survivor! this is an outrage! it's just not fair. he deserved to win, he was truly a pirate. grr. the person who deserves to win never does. I mean, look at the last survivor. the guy with the amazingly pointy cheekbones (aka matthew) deserved to win, but instead that annoying idiot girl (jenna) won. stupid game. dunno why I bother watching. people are so retarded.
...just these stark words at 11:37 a.m. on Friday, November 21, 2003.
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two years
this morning, I was text messaging from the bathtub. ah, the wonders of modern technology...
oh, did I say this morning? I meant this afternoon. it was around two. I had the day off from both work and school. so what did I do? wasted my time sleeping. I set my alarm, like, 3 times. I really don't understand how it happened. it's a good thing I got that initial text message, for it woke me up. funny how alarm clocks do nothing but a tiny little beep wakes me up. ah well.
but yeah, so I never got out of my pajamas today. which isn't a bad thing, in itself. but it means that I haven't left the house. I dunno why my parents complain that I sleep all the time, it's not like I'm missing anything. maybe if they'd quit being such hermits and take me to the store once in a while I would have a reason to get out of bed. I haven't been to a store since I can't remember when. and I really would like to buy some things. but nooooo. heaven forbid we leave the house.
oh goodie, tomorrow I get to go to accounting again. I wonder what new and exciting things we will be learning... I think we are gonna start usuing actual journals rather than those fake accounting thingies they like to teach you first for whatever reason.
and then work. which, I would like to add, has caused me to break the other half of that fingernail and a whole other one. the injustice.
there was a whole lot more I felt the need to complain about, but as usual any thoughts I had left my head as soon as I came to this site. if they return, I will be back later. but for now, off to foodtv.com to look at the nifty things I watched them make earlier this evening.
...just these stark words at 11:23 p.m. on Wednesday, November 19, 2003.
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how they spell things on the internet
I am so getting a migrane. and I am so up past my self-imposed bedtime. merr...
you know what is stupid? having to go to work. I mean really. I've got so many things here at home that I should be working on and that I actually do feel like working on for once, and I am stuck there.
work is actually harmful to my appearance. I have broken 1.5 nails and cut off great amounts of hair in the process of trimming embroidery. it is a tragedy. and the static... I won't even go there.
not to mention the way the women I work with seem to mistake my OCD for complete idiocy. see, I feel the need to repeatedly ask people the same question about the same task, just to make sure I am doing it right. I know I am, I just need to hear it reaffirmed. they seem to think I need a narrated demonstration just cuz I ask them 8 times if this is the right way to fold a box. I know it is, I just need them to keep telling me so.
and tomorrow is accounting class. oh goodie. cuz God knows I have nothing better to do than sit in a class for 2.5 hours learning stuff I already know. and I need to get up earlier to take a shower.
no, not even a shower. I need to take a bath. cuz my sister had to go and put her foot thru the wall. and my parents felt the need to tear the whole wall down. so we have to take baths instead of showers to avoid getting the exposed inner walls wet. cuz if we do, there goes my bedroom wall. and that would be very very bad.
if you haven't already, go to my devART site, I put up some new stuff.
and you know what? I do abbreviate at least one word. I write "cuz" instead of "because". what a hypocrite I am.
...just these stark words at 02:00 a.m. on Tuesday, November 18, 2003.
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rant!
yeah, so, you know what I don't like? working. and goign to school. and insomnia. and a combination of them is just the worst. like today for example. I could not sleep at all last night. now I dont mind it when I get minimal amounts of sleep by choice, but when I only get two hours because I can't fall asleep? that bothers me. alot. thenI had to go to excel class where I still have no internet and sit thru that for an hour. I did actually draw 1.5 nifty pics in photoshop while there, but it's not like I email them to myself at home without internet access. merr...
so I was completely exhausted. my mum tells me that since they have her over doing my job because there is nothing for her to do I prolly won't be needed at work at all. so I did a little "yay no work" dance as best I could in the car. I ate my hash browns (with no monoploy pieces, darn them), took my contacts out, put my pajamas back on, and went to bed. about 20 minutes later the phone rings. it's my mum, they need me anyway. needless to say I was exceedingly unhappy. then I felt bad for yelling at my mum, seeing as it was her birthday.
so that is why I was asleep until about an hour ago, for all those who IMed me trying to wake me. and I wasn't in my room anyway, I was sleeping on the sofa.
...just these stark words at 01:10 a.m. on Saturday, November 15, 2003.
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soon.
oi, I am so neglectful.
I complained so much about not having a place to write my thoughts, and then I go and not write them anyway. and it's not like I've been busy or anything, I've been quite the opposite. I just... I dunno, really. I guess the sims are partially to blame, silly naked sephiroth.
anyway, an actual post should be coming soon, for real this time. in the meantime, go look at my devART, it's been updated a bit. dunno why my recent pics aren't getting many views... but yeah, do that to entertain yourself.
...just these stark words at 06:44 p.m. on Wednesday, November 12, 2003.
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thank God
I finally got all my crap off of MERT, and thus could fix this page. wow, I actually did something productive. ::dances::
unlike the shy pudding blog, I was not able to find my lost entries helpfully cached by google. so I guess they are lost forever. hope I didn't have anything too terribly important written...
but yeah, wow. I had no idea how important this page was to me until it wasn't there. I've been having so many thoughts and nowhere to write them. cuz Heaven forbid I pick up a pen and do it manually. my handwriting has really gotten awful lately, I think it's cuz I never write anymore. I should prolly do something about that.
so now all my files are on my shiny, new, as of yet unnamed computer. meaning I have no excuses for not working on things... drat, maybe I should have left them where they were.
...just these stark words at 02:21 p.m. on Monday, November 3, 2003.
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please work...
please let this entry show up in a somewhat normal manner... ::crosses fingers::
...just these stark words at 02:18 p.m. on Monday, November 3, 2003.
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